We've spent the last week and a half adjusting to being home!  The kids LOVE Owen.  They want to see him, touch him, and "help" him.  When Owen fusses Grant says "it's okay, it's okay" in a high voice.  I guess he's mimicking mommy.  He loves to tickle Owen's feet and give him a binky.  Ava is a super-sister, a mama bear to the core.  She loves to check on Owen, give him a blankie, comfort him, show him toys, help change diapers, feed him, and even wash pump parts.  Most of all, she loves to hold him.  She has had nothing but positive things to say about her brother.

I will say though, the kids have had moments of frustration when I can't play with them because I have to feed the baby.  They both really want my attention, probably mostly because I've been gone for so long.  They don't seem to take it out on Owen though.  The other night I ran up to the store for an hour, my first time away from the kids since I've been home.  In hindsight I realized that this was very difficult for them.  Grant did not want me to leave.  Apparently Ava bawled once I was gone.  I think they both didn't know if I would come back.  Of course I did a short time later.  Then Ava curled up in my lap and started talking about how much she missed me when I was in Oklahoma.  She said "mommy, every time you have a baby we have to find a hospital in Michigan so we can visit you.".  I guess it will take a while for them to re-learn that mommy always comes back.

Here's a picture of Owen, at home, with no wires or tubes!!  He is such a good baby.  Sweet and snuggly and only fusses to be fed or held.  And as soon as I pick him up he stops the fussing and patiently waits for me to change his diaper and weigh him before he can be fed.  It's like he's used to the process.  He's precious.  My other kids were not so patient.  This may change over the next several weeks as he has more awake time.  We've taken Owen to our pediatrician here and he's gaining weight well, 9 oz in a week!  Because he did so well we decided to stop his supplement, but continue the pumping. However, in the last 24 h since we did that he's lost an ounce.  So we'll see how he does after several days. I'm hoping we don't have to go back to supplementing!

I know several of you in Michigan are anxious to meet this little guy.  We have been advised by our doctors not to take him out to public/crowded places until 2 months after his due date, which is early July.  We'll see if we really wait that long, but we want to let his little immune system get as strong as possible before exposing him to crowds.  We look forward to showing him off to you though :).

I will probably not continue to update this blog regularly.  We have a family blog that is set to private to protect the pictures of our children.  Any friend who would like to follow that blog, just leave a comment with your email address (or send it via Facebook) and I'll send you an invitation to the blog.  It will ask you to create a google log in and then you can read our updates any time.  I will keep that one more up to date.

Again, I can't express how much we appreciate each and every one of you who have prayed for our family. God continues to bless us more than we can ask or imagine.  We thank him every day. Thanks for participating in our journey.

74 days

We were discharged from the hospital!! Yesterday was a crazy day trying to organize everything that had to come together to be discharged. I got the okay from our doctor, and Owen got the shots he needed. We are taking a oxygen mask and tubing on the plane just in case (nothing ever happens when you're prepared, right?). We left at about 6pm last night and stayed at Kathy Loeber's house. We have a flight booked for Detroit tonight!! It's hard to believe that after 74 days we are finally going to return home. I haven't seen the kids in over a month and I can't wait to see their smiling faces and introduce them to their new brother. I'll be flying by myself but will have help getting my bags checked at the airport. So all should go smoothly. My biggest concern is Owen being exposed to germs in the airport. Please say a prayer for his health and our safety as we travel. I'll continue to post about how things are going once we are home. Thank you everyone for your prayers. It's amazing we we made it!!

71 days

Things are going well here. Owen is continuing to work on nursing. He is doing a good job, but is not efficient enough to get a full feeding in 20-30 min. If he sucks longer than that he consumes more calories than he takes in. So I have to supplement his feeding until he gets a little stronger. I am avoiding using a bottle this early on, so I have tried a drip tube that allows him to get more milk while he's nursing. In the last 24 h the doctor has allowed me to feed on demand, instead of following their every 3 h schedule. It resulted in me getting a lot less sleep, but I think it will smooth out after a few days. Even with the new schedule he gained weight - that's what really matters.

This method I use to quantify Owen's progress is one the doctor called "unconventional" and apparently it's new to the nurses and I have to explain it at every shift change. Basically I have to take Owen's "pre-weight". Then I feed him, using a tube to supplement with breast milk while he's nursing. Then I take a "post-weight". Each gram increase is a ml of milk. I subtract the # mls that I put in the syringe/ tube and that gives me the # mls he got from nursing. I add the total number of mls he eats per day and make sure that he is getting enough. Then when I weigh him after 24 h I ensure he's gained. It doesn't seem that complicated to me, and it seems like they should have a process for teaching preemies to nurse. But apparently people don't do it, almost everyone uses bottles. I was so surprised. I kind of enjoy the process...numbers, data...it's like doing my own little experiment, but it is very time consuming. I will have to keep doing this at home until he's mastered nursing full feedings.

But the doctor felt that if we can continue this process for a few days, and I feel comfortable doing it at home, and he continues to gain weight, I can take him home:). However, nothing is simple, and the complicated part is arranging getting home. The doctor feels it would be safer to fly than to drive. If we drove the 1,000 miles, we'd have to stop every 2 h and she thinks it would still be too hard on him. If we fly the risks include the elevation (less oxygen, which we don't know if this would be hard on Owen or not) and the exposure to germs in the airport since preemies are high risk for infection. We are looking into taking oxygen on the plane, but the airlines won't allow portable oxygen tanks. I also have to see if our insurance will cover a protective RSV shot to help protect him from RSV. If we can make all the arrangements, hopefully we will be home soon.

66 days

We've graduated to the "NICU village"! The village is part of the NICU for babies that don't need as "intensive" of care. My doctor calls NICU "baby jail" so Chris calls "the village" the baby "halfway house". Owen is now a "feeder/grower". He can tolerate full feedings through his feeding tube, but now he needs to be able to nurse full feedings to be able to go home. The doctors say this can vary greatly, from a few days to a few weeks. Hopefully he'll quickly gain the endurance to nurse longer.

This is my 7th room change since I've been at the hospital. I've stayed in 1) Rm 4122- OB special care, 2) Rm 4130- OB special care, 3) Rm 17 - delivery, 4) Rm 4136 - post pardum, 5) Ronald McDonald - Anna's room, 6) Parent Hotel- Garrison tower, 7) Rm 7226 - NICU Village. The next one will be back home in Michigan!!

I have to mention one more thing- the complete paradox of hospital life. These are my instructions from the doctors/nurses/lactation consultants: 1) be sure to try and nurse 8x/day at every feeding, 2) pump 8-10 x/day, 3) do Kangaroo care at least 3 hours each day, 4) drink lots of water (but you can't have water in the NICU), 5) eat lots of food (but you can't have food in the NICU), 6) get lots of sleep, at least two 4 hr blocks (but...see #s 1-5), 7) get out and enjoy some time away with your husband to keep your sanity (but...see #s 1-6). Is anybody doing the math here?! It does not add up - ha!

64 days

I'm missing the kids today, but I'm so thankful Karen & Dean are getting to have a fun Easter with them. We dressed up Owen for the occasion with a bunny hat & booties from my sister:) Here are some pictures of him!

Someone found his thumb.

Family picture.

A nurse taught me to crochet and I made this blanket for Owen while I was in the hospital on bed rest. He got the puppy from the kid's zone.

This is what I spend a lot of the day doing, aside from feeding the baby. Kangaroo care. I'm enjoying getting time to hold my lil one. I know that will be harder to do once I'm home with the other kids.

I forgot to mention that Chris and I snuck away to have dinner at Zios the other night. It was my first time to leave this building in 60 days! Yay!

63 days

Owen is doing really well. He's been working on a few different things in this first week of life. So here's a breakdown of his status.

Lungs - he is off the CPAP. It left his eyes and nose bruised, but he is doing great breathing on his own. His oxygen levels are high. He does have some apnea though, where he just stops breathing for a few moments, causing his heart rate to drop. Then he breaths and it goes back up. Because he recovers without help, they aren't concerned about it. Apparently that's just what little babies do...and he'll grow out of it.

Liver - his bilirubin went down from 8.4 to 7.9 today without any phototherapy lights. So he's done with that!

Digestion- for the last few days, he has been trying to nurse. He wears out after about 5 or 10 min. The rest of the feeding he receives through a feeding tube which now runs through his nose to his belly. Previously he hadn't been digesting all of the milk and wasn't pooping much. He got up to 24 ml per feeding and was able to digest it all and poop regularly on his own. Just tonight he spit up for the first time. So we'll see how fast he reaches a "full feeding" which is about 40 ml. Once he can hold 40 ml he can get off the IV because he'd have enough milk to stay hydrated and maintain his body weight. Then we could move over to the parent village in the NICU where we could all stay in the same room until he got all that milk by nursing, without the feeding tube.

More to come, including some pictures!!

60 days

Let me start by saying Owen is doing well. I'll write more later to update about him. But right now my heart is heavy because his roommate, the 28 week old baby, isn't going to make it. There have been about 12 nurses/ doctors in the room all morning. I was doing Kangaroo Care with Owen behind my privacy screen and trying to stay out of the way when things went critical. I just left the room to try to show some respect to the family. His grandparents had been brought in, the mom is still intubated in ICU. I couldn't even get out the door before the tears started flowing. I in no way deserve to have this healthy little baby I have. I just was sitting there in that room, hearing the scuffling feet and calm but concerned voices of all the staff, clinging to my baby happily sleeping on my chest thinking "why did God give me this child?". The mother of that baby is going to wake up and find out she lost her little boy, she'll never have seen him, never held his hand, she won't know the joy you feel when that little boy is 2 and runs to hug you, she'll never know the reward of hearing him say "I wuv you mama", or the pride in seeing him love the Lord. My heart is so heavy right now. I say all of this to ask you to pray for this family. And keep praying for baby Owen. We cannot take our children for granted. He is a GIFT. A complete GIFT from the Lord. He is entrusted to my care for a short time and I want to be present - physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally for every moment of it. I want to hug him and kiss him every day and tell him I love him. So I encourage each of you children, tell your parents you appreciate and love them, each of you parents tell your children you appreciate and love them. No one deserves to lose a baby. No one deserves to keep a baby. I don't know why God has chosen to bless us with this situation, having our baby boy make it all the way to 34 weeks and give us a little fighter who will probably end up thriving and bringing so much joy to our lives. But I will be thankful, every day that I get to have him.

58 days

It's been a busy few days! I haven't had my laptop on me to post so let me catch you all up. First of all, baby Owen has brown hair just like Ava did when she was born. His fingers and feet are long just like Grant's were. Sometime I'll post a newborn picture of each of them and you can make your predictions:) I've only seen him open his eyes for the first time today, just briefly, and it looks like they are going to be blue. I can't tell you how awesome it was to see him looking up at me.

Let me fill you in on where we are medically. The doctors took Owen up to the NICU very shortly after he was born. Basically his systems are a little immature, as expected, so he needs some help to breathe & eat and to lower his bilirubin levels. When he was born we immediately saw he was able to breathe on his own!! But it was a lot of work for him so he took rapid, shallow breaths. The doctors tried to let him overcome that, but he was having trouble on his own so after about 12 hours they put on a CPAP. These were tubes in his nostrils that pushed air into his lungs, helping him keep them inflated. This made him much more comfortable. After about 48 hours they removed that and he was able to breathe just fine! Normally, in utero, it would take a baby until 40 weeks (full term) to make the ideal amount of surfacant needed in their lungs. It amazes me that when they are born preterm, in just 48 h their little bodies can make enough surfactant for them to breathe unaided. Our bodies are amazing. We are very thankful that Owen didn't need an invasive procedure like intubation or ventilation.

They gave Owen cool purple goggles & he was put under special lights to help clear his jaundice. He is currently eating through a feeding tube. Just today, since he is breathing well, they said we could try nursing. He's very uninterested right now, but should learn with a little patience. He really just wants to sleep and be left alone. I don't blame him, it was much more calm in the womb! So it's important that we don't overstimulate him. I have been doing Kangaroo Care where I hold him skin to skin for extended periods of time. It calms him down and is as close as we can get to giving him the environment he would have in the womb which is important for his brain to keep developing. And as he matures, he will become more alert and more interested in nursing.

Saturday night was a little rough for Owen. His veins are fragile and IV vein blew so they had to try a new one. They tried 9 times and finally gave up. Then they tried to go through his belly button but the IV curved and went toward his liver. There is only one vein in the belly button so they couldn't try again. They then resorted to a PICC line. The veins just blew so easily, but on the third time it worked. They did an X-ray to see if it was in the right place, but it was not. Honestly, he was tough. He cried the most when they wiped his skin with a cold wipe of all things. They left the PICC line in and in the morning a PICC nurse was able to adjust it so that the tube uncurled and went to the right place. So he didn't have to be stuck again! I was relieved about that. It's hard to see such a little baby go through all of that.

After talking to the Neonatologists, it seems Owen is doing extremely well. He just needs some time to catch up and adapt to being on the outside this early. So we are just being patient and living day by day.

Last night I was discharged from the hospital. Hooray, I'm not a patient anymore!!! It's a little bittersweet to leave my nurses:) I have promised to send them pictures. Apparently we've created a stir in the hospital. Yesterday the pediatrician asked if we were from the city and I told him we are from Detroit. He said "oh, you're the one who came to visit and has been here two months". He said he was very familiar with our story. And the housekeeper and cafeteria staff stopped by to see me and said they were going to tell everyone downstairs that I finally had the baby. Apparently they have all been wondering. Everyone is so surprised that I made it to 34 weeks!

Tonight Owen got a new roomate, a baby born at 28 weeks. Seeing that tiny little baby and the amount of intervention he needed, tugged at my heart. He is almost 1/3 the size of Owen. I just looked back and forth at him and Owen thinking, that could have been us. The nurses told me that some of those babies, born at 26-28 weeks celebrate their 1st birthdays in the hospital. What in the world would we have done in that situation? We are truly, truly blessed.