25 days

The last few days have been very nice. I was able to go outside yesterday for the first time since I've been here. After 3 1/2 weeks without fresh air it was really nice that my nurse took me out in the wheelchair. It's odd to get around in a wheel chair when I know I'm capable of walking - I almost feel like a fraud. But those are my orders. My nurse showed me some areas where I could take the kids outside to run around if it is nice when they come back to visit. I enjoyed getting to talk to her as well about her life and family and decisions she's struggling with in raising her own kids. I like getting to know the nurses around here. The longer I'm here the more I get to know their stories, and I love seeing how that can open conversation to discuss God and my faith. I like to hope that God can use me in this environment to encourage or challenge some people around me. He has really forced me to "be still", is something I've always struggled with. Maybe he is leading me beside quiet waters, and making me lie down in green pastures so that I can see and hear the people around me a little better. Maybe then I can see and hear how God wants to use me in their lives.

On the medical side, things are looking good here. I had an ultrasound yesterday and the baby measured at 3 lbs 11 oz. That seemed pretty big to me, considering he was 2 lb 2 oz when I was admitted. But the doctor said that is average, right on target. My fluid levels were also 11, so they are continuing to rise. The rupture hasn't healed over, but it appears that the bed rest and my enormous water intake are helping maintain my fluid levels (as well as the prayers of course:). I'm so thankful that he is doing well and he is still safe inside where he needs to be. In the end, hopefully this will just be a healthy baby boy and a great story!

Chris gave the kids a recordable story book yesterday that I had sent home with him. My sweet friend Marcia brought it to me and I was able to record it and sent it back with the kids. It was such a great idea. Ava opened it while we were on skype. I think she thought I was reading it to her - it took a while for her to understand that it was a recording. Then she said "so I can even listen to it, in my room in my bed when you aren't on the computer". I said yes and her response was "cool!!". Today I mailed them some cards & stickers (thanks Ramona). So I hope that will brighten their week a little. One day at a time...

23 days

I've added a pregnancy ticker so that it's easy to see how far along baby boy is!

20 days

My parents and the kids left for home today. It took them 21 hours on the way down and they lose an hour on the way back. Let's just say they are some pretty awesome parents to do that trip with the kids! Goodbyes went well. Grant lives from moment to moment and probably had no idea that he wasn't going to see my in the morning. I know Ava was a little upset about it. She accepts that I have to stay here, but she was sad because she wanted me to be done in the hospital. But we talked about all her responsibilities at home and that she'd be back to visit again sometime. I handled it better than I originally thought I would. It helps to know they'll make another visit at some point. I'm sorry I have no pictures to post of the kids here this week. I don't have a way to upload them.

On another note, we've passed the 29 weeks mark! This is an exciting point to be at and every week is a celebration around here. A lot of people have asked me questions about if ruptured membranes can heal over. There is not a current treatment to "fix" the rupture after a person's water breaks. Sometimes it can spontaneously heal over. The doctor told me he's only seen that happen about 3 times in his practice and it was usually patients who'd had an amniocentesis, where the needle made a small hole that was able to seal over. In my case it's not very likely. I'll continue to leak fluid for rest of my pregnancy. But my body, and baby, continue to make more. So we're hoping that I'm making it at the same rate, or faster, than it leaks. That will allow my fluid levels to remain above the critical level (which is less than 5). Normal is anywhere from 6-24 (higher is not necessarily necessary, every woman is different). When I was admitted, the level was at 6. The doctors were happy about that, but didn't want to see it dip down below 5 because that becomes dangerous for baby. I had an ultrasound a few days ago and my fluid levels are now at 10! I know it's not a completely accurate estimate by ultrasound, but I was thrilled to hear that! I want this little boy to have lots of room in there to move and kick and practice breathing.

It's hard to believe almost 3 weeks have passed. I have been surprisingly kept busy with visitors, nurses, and lots of activities (thank you all who have lent me movies, books, and new things to try). So I haven't been very bored. Most of my time has been spent house hunting! Chris and I had planned to look for houses in these next few months. So now we are continuing to do that even though I'm 1,000 miles away. Everyone looks at me like I'm a little crazy and says "are you sure you trust your husband to pick out a house without you". But I have a pretty amazing husband. He's been video taping the houses he looks at and sending them to me. So we'll see how it goes. It would be nice not to have to house hunt with a new baby when I get home. My mom also brought me my pictures and scrap booking materials - my favorite pastime. So I'm excited to dig out the pictures of my babies and work on that.

19 days

Happy 29 weeks to me and baby boy! Today is a great milestone to reach. I'm still pregnant, still waiting, and thankful each day for that. More tomorrow, this mama is tired!

16 days

It was so nice to see Ava & Grant yesterday and today. They already seem more mature in just the few weeks we've been apart. Is that possible? Grant uses so many words and is getting more and more independent. He looked surprised to see me, gave me a big hug and kiss and moved on immediately to scavenge my lunch plate for food he could claim. That boy truly loves to eat. He didn't skip a beat, as if we hadn't even been apart for 2+ weeks. And Ava never ceases to surprise me with the things that come out of her mouth. Tonight she looked at the clock and told me it was 7 o'clock - since when can she read a clock?! Chris left some little project kits last time he was here and my aunt and mom brought some new things for the kids to play with. There were pop beads rolling all over the floor and stickers and glitter all over - they loved it. I have a few pictures, but unfortunately no way to get them off the camera, so those will have to come later. When they had to leave for the night Grant said "I want you come with me mama". I told him I wanted to too but I wasn't allowed to leave the hospital and that he was going to come back when he woke up. That was enough for him. Ava on the other hand seemed awfully sad. She understands I can't leave, but misses her mommy. She kept wanting to give me hugs. She didn't cry or throw a fit, but looked very sad as she waved goodbye for the 8th time. I hope it's not too hard when they have to leave later this week.

14 days

I get to see my kiddos tomorrow! My mom and dad drove Ava & Grant down and they arrived late tonight. They'll be up here tomorrow and I can't wait to get a hug from each of them! I have never been away from Grant. I thought a quick two day trip would be reasonable, but little did I know I wouldn't see him for two weeks. I ask for you to pray for them that this will be a joyful time to visit and not be too confusing for them, especially Grant. They get to stay all week - I'm so looking forward to it!

12 days

WAHOO! We are at 28 weeks and still counting! Apparently 28 weeks is a significant milestone for me to reach because of the development of the baby at this point. His lungs are developed much more than even two weeks ago, and the survival rate for babies born at this point is in the 90s. My nurse told me every day I stay pregnant at this point saves baby 2 days in NICU. That's a pretty good return:)

Many people have asked why I have to stay at the hospital instead of being able to go home. Basically the doctors want to closely monitor me to make sure I don't get an infection, the baby is not in distress, I do not go into labor, and my fluid levels don't drop too low. So the monitoring goes as follows. The nurses check my temperature every 4 h and blood pressure about every 8 h round the clock. They have now stopped my antibiotics, but give me regular prenatals and pepcid each day. Twice a day for about 30 min they monitor the baby's heart rate and monitor me for contractions. I have leg wraps that I am supposed to wear all day that massage my legs to increase blood flow and keep me from getting a blood clot due to bed rest. They also give me a new IV every 4-6 days (not my favorite part if you know me). Several times this baby has gotten a "green bell" when his heart rate was monitored. That's a perfect score on the monitor, which surprises the nurses because apparently that usually doesn't happen until about 32 weeks. I told her he's already a high achiever. :) Tonight his heart rate had a couple of drops so in order to make sure that was just a fluke, they gave me a huge bag of glucose (basically sugar water) through my IV. We'll see if I get to sleep tonight after that!

One fun thing that happened this week is that I got a new couch! Someone came by and switched out my boring green love seat for a big red couch (it's more like a bench seat really).. Having a little color in the room is very refreshing. It's amazing how the small things really brighten my day. I love the red couch.

I want to say a big thank you to all of you for the calls and visits and treats you've brought me. I feel so blessed and loved. Several people have asked if I am bored, but some of my days have been so full of visits that I haven't even had time to pick up a book let alone get bored. I have been brought books and movies, and even knitting to learn. And now that our house has sold I'm researching school districts and house hunting online too. So I'm sure I'll be able to keep myself busy for a while! I'm truly so blessed to be in stuck in Oklahoma City with friends I love dearly.

11 days

Just wanted to let you all know all is well here. We are still hanging tight. I just haven't had time to post the last few days. More tomorrow...

8 days

In the last two days I feel like I've achieved a few small victories! Yesterday I got to leave my room for the first time. I got a wheelchair ride down the hall to the refrigerator to get my own drink. I can't tell you how silly I felt asking the nurse if I could have a wheelchair to go down there. It seems so silly to have to ask someone to go get me a chair to just go across the hall to a fridge. But it was worth asking, because it felt good just to get out of the room. Then today, I got a new room!! My nurse was so sweet and grabbed a room that opened up with a window that looks at buildings instead of a concrete wall. I just moved tonight, but I already loved seeing some lights outside. I'm excited to see if there's actually sunshine in the morning. Plus, we snagged a little table and chairs from another open room. So I could even sit by the window. Yay! My new room number is 4130. Several people have said they've had trouble trying to get connected to my room when they call the hospital. I believe the direct number to this room is 271-5405.

7 days

Today has been a quiet day. I didn't see my nurse at all this evening and started wondering when she was going to come in to monitor the baby. Finally she arrived and told me the entire story of where she'd been. Apparently she had another patient that was a prePromer (that's what they call people like me who's water has broken early) who had to be rushed to a C-section. This girl had gotten an infection, which is not uncommon, and the baby was in distress so they had to rush her to the OR. This hit a little close to home because her water had broken 3 days before mine and she was 28 weeks along (so that could be me in a few days-yikes). The nurse told me most people only last a week or two after their water breaks before an infection sets in. So I told her that I am not most people! It just reminded me of the fragility of the situation. Every week we can gain is less complications that this little guy will have to face after he's born. So please, please continue the prayers that this little boy will sit tight and that I will not develop an infection. We really need him to stay in longer.

I am counting down to 29 weeks, which would be a great milestone to pass. In trying to figure out when that will be, I discovered some discrepancies in my medical records. The doctors here have determined my due date to be May 10th, later than we originally thought. This means that my water broke at 26 wks & 3 days and that today I am actually only 27 wks & 3 days. According to the new date, I will reach the 29 weeks milestone on February 23rd!

6 days

Today Chris and Ava left to go back home to Michigan. I was dreading today, realizing that how I handled the situation completely hinged on how Ava handled it. They came over nice and early and we all had breakfast together. Ava and I ate Mickey Mouse pancakes and played Dora bingo, made puzzles, and packed up the Valentine's I had helped her make for preschool on Monday. It may be my imagination, but she even seemed older just after one week of seeing her on and off. She's so independent! I have been so impressed with Chris this week. He has taken care of her without hesitation and with almost no instruction from me. He will do a great job back home. When they left we talked about how daddy had a special surprise for her during the flight layover. She could hardly wait (it was a Zhu Zhu pet, which she's been wanting. We thought it would give her something to look forward to and it was a HUGE hit). She gave me 7 hugs and 7 kisses to hold me over until she comes back. I'm glad she is oblivious to the significance of the situation we're in. The baby steps are working great so far with her. It's helped that she's had the whole week to process what's going on and accept that mommy has to stay at the hospital. I think it helped her (and me) so much knowing that there are already plans for her and Grant to return.

I was able to spend time with some of my closest girlfriends this afternoon. We had some good laughs and I appreciated their company. I've also started spending a little time reading up on what to expect from bed rest and having a preemie. I don't want to worry about things that may not happen, but I know it will help to know what to expect in NICU. The nurses around here talk about how things can change on a dime, so I'm thankful for every day that this baby boy is inside and growing like he needs to be. My nurse tonight said my baby was "wonderful" on the monitor. She said based on his heart rate patterns he was acting like a 31 or 32 week baby. I think maybe he's just a strong little one:).

I'm off to bed. I'm learning that one needs to go to bed early in the hospital if one wants to get sleep...because there are no locks on the doors to keep the nurses from coming in for a temp/bp/meds check at 1 am or to keep the resident doctor from doing his rounds at 4:30 am! I may put a sign on my door with the answers to the questions I know they are going to ask so they don't have to wake me up:)

2-9-12: 4 days

I have enjoyed your messages and visits over these last few days. I'm sure in the coming days & weeks I'll be able to better wrap mind around the idea of this room being my new "home". Chris and Ava will have to head back to Michigan this weekend, so I am enjoying spending time with them before they leave. Hopefully in a few weeks they will be back down to visit again, I will look forward to that. We've given Ava little pieces of information each day to give her an idea of what's going on without overwhelming her. She's done okay so far. She understands that mommy has to stay in the hospital to make sure baby brother is safe & healthy. We talked today about her going back to Michigan with daddy so she could go to preschool for the Valentine's exchange and because daddy needed her to show him what all the buttons on the plane are for :). She proudly told me she could do that because she knows how to fly on a plane. Her concept of time hasn't fully developed, so to not overwhelm her we're just talking about a few days at a time with her. Grant seems to be doing fine at home so far. But today on the phone he told me "I want you to come home right now. I want mommy to come home". Grant is such a sweet, loving, tender hearted boy. The idea of him feeling abandoned by me tears me up inside. I am just hoping that his young age and the fact that he doesn't have a good concept of time will allow him to be easily distracted between visits. It's hard for me to imagine going from being such an integral part of his day to day, to being gone. Wondering how this will affect the kids is the hardest part for me. I know they are resilient and I just hope I'm able to show them I love them from a distance.

As far as the medical side of everything, we have looked into the idea of having me transported back to Michigan and that doesn't seem like an option. It would require us to pay for a medical flight out of pocket. Though there would be medical personnel on the flight, there are still risk being far from a hospital if something happened. As of right now, it looks like I'll be staying here. The good news is, that the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) here is the best in the state, with the highest ranking available. So we know that our baby will get good care once he arrives.

If you know me, you know I'm trying to understand the science behind all of this. I ask a lot of questions and the doctor's even brought me an article from a medical journal to read - they have me pegged! When it comes down to it, we are waiting. Things may remain very calm, or could change on a dime. Below I've described some of what we know, for those of you interested in the medical part of things.

According to what I've read, I don't have any of the risk factors for my water to break so early. Things that would usually cause this are contractions, infection, history of pre-term labor, disease, smoking, & amniocentesis. After having two overdue babies with uncomplicated pregnancies, this was surprising. However, I did have second-trimester bleeding, which may have been what weakened the sac. There is no way to confirm that though.

The main risks we face right now are:

1) prolapse cord: Since there is less fluid around the baby, it's more likely his cord could get pinched, which would result in him not receiving oxygen and an immediate C-section. This is a reason they want to monitor me closely. Baby is head down, which they say is very very positive because it makes the risk of prolapse cord lower.

2) low amniotic fluid:Also since there is less fluid, the baby has less room to move around freely. Movement is important for his limbs to develop properly and for his lungs to develop. They cannot tell me if we are at risk for these things by my fluid levels. They can only say that we are not to a critical level. Normal range of fluid may be 5-24. Below 5 is critical. We are a 6, which doesn't sound too high to me, but they feel very good about that because we are still in a safe range.

3) infection: When the protective sac around the baby is no longer sealed, bacteria from mom's body can't be kept out and can result in an infection. Infection can induce pre-term labor. It seems this is the most common problem with PROM.

My first goal is for us to get to 29 weeks. Prior to that, there is a lot of blood nourishing the brain and it puts babies at high risk for bleeding in the brain. The NICU doctors told us that treating preemies is a completely different game after 29 weeks so we're aiming for that first small goal.

Thanks again to everyone for the love & support.

A Sudden Turn of Events

After receiving an email offering a low last minute fare to OKC for the following weekend, I decided to take a short trip with Ava to visit our friends in OKC. I knew with a baby on the way, it would be a long time before we'd get to visit again. Chris was going on a business trip and so Ava and I would travel from Detroit to OKC & stay for about 2 days. On Sunday Feb 5th, less than 24 into the trip my water broke and I was being admitted to Children's hospital. Chris flew in the next morning, leaving Grant with my parents.

About 50% of women in this situation go into labor and deliver in the first 24 h. Half of the remaining 50% deliver in the first week. So the first 48 were very critical. They started IV antibiotics (to prevent infection) and magnesium (to prevent labor and serve as a neuroprotectant). They gave steroid shots to help the baby's lungs and closely monitored me every hour, as well as measuring blood pressure every 30 min round the clock. Thankfully, we made it through the first 48 hours and baby boy is still right where he should be! I was happy to be done with the magnesium (which causes fatigue and flu like symptoms) because it made my mind quite cloudy, and to be moved into a new room with orders for bed rest that now permit me to get up to use the rest room and shower!

We were amazed at how many of your responded so quickly with prayers for our situation. We are SO thankful for those prayers. Right now things are going well, but it could change at a moment's notice. It's just a waiting game. In the meantime, I am on bed rest and am not allowed to leave this hospital until the baby is delivered. At that time we can expect a stay in ICU, meaning this endeavor could be over several months.

In the meantime we are trying to make decisions about what to do long term as a family. Though I am the one in the hospital, the true burden lies on my husband, who will have to take one the role of being both mom & working dad, and my children, who are too small to understand their mother's absence. Please pray for both the health of our little baby boy as well as the transitions that lay ahead for our family. Many of you have offered your help, which we sincerely appreciate. At this stage we aren't really sure what our needs are going to be. Over time as we determine that I'll be sure to let you know. Thanks for all the love and support. We continue to ask for your prayers that God will wrap his loving protective arms around our little boy and give us patience and strength through the coming months and comfort to our two little ones.

I will try to keep this site updated for those of you who want to follow us through this and who want updates on our situation. Hopefully the next several weeks will be uneventful and baby will stay right where he needs to be!

Love to you all